Stop the World! I Want to be an Author!

I want to be an author, but you can’t be an author until you have officially been published and have one person to have read it in its final form. 

To get your book on the shelves and published, you need to promote. 

To be published you’ve got to have a finished perfect book approved by a publishing company. 

To be approved by a publishing company, you’ve got to have a good sales pitch. 

To have a good sales pitch, you have to have a finished overwritten final draft that can survive with editing. You’ve also got to have a good cover letter and even invest in a literary agent. 

To get to a literary agent, you have to have your great idea go through several stages. 

To get through those stages, it’s good to have a peer author or friend who won’t steal you ideas. 

To get chapters to your peer, you need to write it. 

To write a chapter, you need to plot it. 

To write, you need a detailed broken down plot, characters written down and fleshed out with character traits, looks and significance. You also need a subplot. 

To have a detailed plot, you need to have an outlined sketched of a brief chapter break down, that can link each chapter together. 

To link each chapter together, you need a good idea. 

To need a good idea, you need a brain. 

Or you could just do all of that yourself. 

I’ve got a long way to go. 

6 Days Until Christmas 

Got the best Christmas present ever! Flights to Florida, a big Christmas bonus, work visa extended, and 10 days holiday with my boyfriend.  

Advice from an author – not everyone will like what you write. So long as you like it, then that’s what really matters. 

 

7 Days Until Christmas

Do you have that turkey or goose yet? Normally in my house in the U.K we put on a huge spread on Christmas Eve. We invite family and friends, and we have a big party! Normally my brothers get blind drunk, and my sister tipsy. My dad can’t drink much, and me and my mum are completely sober. My auntie get so sleepy on the few glasses of Brandy. She doesn’t drink much, but you could say that Brandy was her main vice when she did have a tipple. 

We also cook a lot. Mom had me making canapés one year. That was tedious. She went off to work 

  

  

  

  

  

  and left me with a recipe for a bunch of canapés. I had to make 50 in one day. It was ridiculous! I had no help whatsoever. I also had to make the gingerbread house (which I normally do every year, as I am normally a very creative person) and a cake. That year I decided to make a 3-D snowman cake. She also had me making a low diabetic ginger ale drink.

Monty -my dog – is no help. He either guards the sausages or falls asleep in front of the oven. It means nobody can cook when he does that. 

Nobody wants everyone has arrived we eat and drink and be merry, so to speak. We normally have my cousins children come over, so after everybody has eaten I normally gets out my spinning plates and let the children play with those. For them that’s the real perk of going to this Christmas Eve party. 

This party has happened ever since I was a child. Dad calls it piri-piri night because he likes to make his famous Piri-piri chicken. He makes a normal one and a spicy one. That’s what the adults come to eat really, I guess. 

Last years party was very quiet in comparison to all the at the potties. And actuality, dad actually forgot to give out the invitations. So everybody – that is to say on our friends not including our families – didn’t actually turn up because they had made other arrangements. They thought that the party was not happening last year. 

What do you do for Christmas eve?

Advice from an author number 17 … Or it was 18? I lost count. It must be the Christmas spirit going to my head. My advice is before sending your book to the publisher, make sure you have written your plan, written a first draft, typed up your book, printed it off, proofed it, made changes, add those changes to the manuscript on the computer, make edits big and small, overwrite, ask someone to proof it for you, add in the changes that they have added, crosscheck everything with your plotted plan to make sure you have all the key points in place and all the secondary subplots in place, read through it again and make any more changes that you want and do any rewrites that you need, print of the requirements for the publisher, do any cover letters, and submit your manuscript script.

8 Days Until Christmas

With only a few days before leaving for Florida, it would seem that immigration has made a bug up of things. I don’t mean the USA. I may have to delay and spend Christmas alone with nonalcoholic wine. Merry Christmas to me.  Everybody else … get drunk for me. Or better still, please wish me a miracle with immigration. 

Advice from an author number 15 – never start a book talking about just the weather. If you want to mention weather, then do it stylistically. 

 

9 Days Until Christmas

9 days and counting. What are your plans for Christmas? Me? Thanks for asking. Hopefully, I’ll be going to Florida. 

Advice from an author number 14 … I’m loosing count. When characters are speaking in turns, always start a new line so the reader knows a conversation is happening. 

  

11 Days Until Christmas

The Christmas Countdown is going strong. Today I started packing. For Christmas I’m heading off to sunny climates – and maybe somewhat humid ones – to Florida. My partner is out there on a business venture. It’s going to be lovely. 

Advice from an author number … 12 … I think. 

Work to a deadline if you need too. Plot, plot, plot, and over write. Over writing is better than under writing, because it’s easier to take things out, than add things in. Also, if it’s accepted for publication, the editor will want some bits removed. You enough to have a fighting ground. 

  

12 Days Until Christmas 

Today I’ll be going out for Christmas coffee and write, write, write! Why? Because I have time. 

Author advice number 10 – if you can trust one friend who’s not interested in writing, but likes reading, then maybe you can consider them to be your harsh critic before you send it to publishers.  

 

15 Days Until Christmas

So there are 15 days until Christmas. Advice … start early, or like me, you’ll be having a last minute dash. 

Advice from an author number 8 – if you are worried that you’re first paragraph will not keep your readers reading, then write several different versions and email them to extremely close friends. Don’t tell them what it’s for. Just ask them which paragraph is the most interesting. Then go with the majority vote and work it into your chapter 1. 

  

16 Days until Christmas 

The beautiful Christmas lights are starting to go up in Japan. Exciting!

Advice from an author number 7 – when writing chapter 1 remember that the first paragraph is the most important paragraph you will write in your book. It’s the paragraph that will draw people in and want to read it.